Sunday, December 26, 2010
=]
SO GLAD THE HOLIDAYS ARE OVER. IM TIRED OF CHRISTMAS MUSIC, DECORATIONS, JESUS PRAISING, AND SPENDING $$$$$$.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
My Straight Edge 2010
As I progress in life and learn new things and embark upon new experiences, my personal philosophy on life is ever changing. One thing I have held close in my heart for a number of years is my personal adherence to the Straight Edge. Some of my views have completely flipped in the past years: religion, vegetarianism, friendship, and even my career path. One thing has never changed as much as those things. The core Straight Edge ethos I believe in - to never indulge in drugs and alcohol. One thing I will never do: Break that promise to myself. While my core belief will never change, some of the ways I view things regarding the Straight Edge have differed.
When I was 16 years old, I detested anyone who sold out the Straight Edge. Anyone who turned their back on their beliefs turned their back on me. At times I even resorted to acts of violence to prove my point.
Now i'm older, wiser, much more open minded, and have realized people make mistakes. Some people got into a fad that wasn't going to stick with them their entire lives. I accept that. I accept the Straight Edge isn't for everyone. I realize not everyone shares the same views as me, even though they once did. Some people choose to damage their bodies with substances, big deal. What I can't accept is slandering someone's name, someone's reputation because you don't like what and who they are. I can't accept utter disrespect towards someone who feels passionately about their beliefs, threats of violence, personal insults and attacks on ones home life. That's ridiculous, childish, and mindless. Get real and grow up. I've met so many people through the hardcore and Straight Edge scene that are no longer involved in either of those cultures. We remain friends to this day because we share similar views on different things and we act in an adult manner regarding the views we do not share.
In this, self is all I need. With this oath that keeps me free, to this I am forever true.
I will never run from where I stand, even if it means i'm standing here alone. If all my friends sold out and I was the only person that I knew that remained Straight Edge, I would still be Straight Edge because I am the way I am for myself and that will never change.
It was 2002, I was skateboarding with Russell Catt. It was September and it was getting cold. We were on the promenade that night and the result ended up being the best thing that ever happened to me. I met Rob Maxwell and I honestly don't remember exactly what he said but I do remember the huge bold X on each of his hands and why they were there. From then on I swore to live a Straight Edge lifestyle. I already despised drugs and alcohol and this just put a name to it. Discovering hardcore circa 2004 instilled a pride in me that will never waiver. Listening to the few youth crew bands I knew over and over and over. Moshing my brains out to the obnoxious Straight Edge metal core bands I knew every chance I got, even if it was in my bedroom. Those are the things that established my Straight Edge. Going to hardcore shows every chance possible and meeting people from all over. Thinking that every friend I had would have my back forever and I was invincible. I wouldn't change that for anything.
Things ended up changing themselves, I only catch a good hardcore show a few times a year. I can count my friends on both my hands and my Straight Edge friends on one. I no longer put any faith in anyone that I don't already trust and I know that even that could some day fade. I used to spend everyday with my friends, driving around, skateboarding, causing a ruckus.
Now I spend everyday with Kara and my dogs, watching home improvement shows, building stuff, going to school. I honestly can't picture my life any other way and i'm happy that way.
=]
When I was 16 years old, I detested anyone who sold out the Straight Edge. Anyone who turned their back on their beliefs turned their back on me. At times I even resorted to acts of violence to prove my point.
Now i'm older, wiser, much more open minded, and have realized people make mistakes. Some people got into a fad that wasn't going to stick with them their entire lives. I accept that. I accept the Straight Edge isn't for everyone. I realize not everyone shares the same views as me, even though they once did. Some people choose to damage their bodies with substances, big deal. What I can't accept is slandering someone's name, someone's reputation because you don't like what and who they are. I can't accept utter disrespect towards someone who feels passionately about their beliefs, threats of violence, personal insults and attacks on ones home life. That's ridiculous, childish, and mindless. Get real and grow up. I've met so many people through the hardcore and Straight Edge scene that are no longer involved in either of those cultures. We remain friends to this day because we share similar views on different things and we act in an adult manner regarding the views we do not share.
In this, self is all I need. With this oath that keeps me free, to this I am forever true.
I will never run from where I stand, even if it means i'm standing here alone. If all my friends sold out and I was the only person that I knew that remained Straight Edge, I would still be Straight Edge because I am the way I am for myself and that will never change.
It was 2002, I was skateboarding with Russell Catt. It was September and it was getting cold. We were on the promenade that night and the result ended up being the best thing that ever happened to me. I met Rob Maxwell and I honestly don't remember exactly what he said but I do remember the huge bold X on each of his hands and why they were there. From then on I swore to live a Straight Edge lifestyle. I already despised drugs and alcohol and this just put a name to it. Discovering hardcore circa 2004 instilled a pride in me that will never waiver. Listening to the few youth crew bands I knew over and over and over. Moshing my brains out to the obnoxious Straight Edge metal core bands I knew every chance I got, even if it was in my bedroom. Those are the things that established my Straight Edge. Going to hardcore shows every chance possible and meeting people from all over. Thinking that every friend I had would have my back forever and I was invincible. I wouldn't change that for anything.
Things ended up changing themselves, I only catch a good hardcore show a few times a year. I can count my friends on both my hands and my Straight Edge friends on one. I no longer put any faith in anyone that I don't already trust and I know that even that could some day fade. I used to spend everyday with my friends, driving around, skateboarding, causing a ruckus.
Now I spend everyday with Kara and my dogs, watching home improvement shows, building stuff, going to school. I honestly can't picture my life any other way and i'm happy that way.
=]
Sunday, December 5, 2010
It's the most wonderful time....
I don't know what to do with my days since school has ended. Kara works all day and I usually sleep until about noon. I can only sweep the floor so many times and we never really have much else to do around here. I find myself playing a lot of xbox, even when I don't feel like it. Fall quarter ended too abruptly. I wasn't fully engrossed in studying like I should have been and my grades suffered. I'm disappointed in myself to say the least and my winter quarter goal is at least a 3.x GPA. I'm absolutely positive that my mental capacity can handle it and achieve it.
Christmas is right around the corner and i'm having mixed feelings about it. This year Kara and I have chosen a bit of a different path. Instead of splitting the day up between our two separate families, we are going to attend her parents on Christmas day and then the next day we're going to host my family at our house. I love spending time with the Altics and i'm glad that we don't have to run off after a few hours to cram time with my family. I'm beyond excited to spend the day with my brother Ryan and sister Erica and her boys and my parents. I wish for nothing more than Matt and Natalie and their boys to make it but I understand financial hurtles prevent that. I also wish my sister Veronica would get her head out of her ass and bring her family but that's hopeless.
Despite my excitement of spending the day with my families, my financial downfalls are gonna make this Christmas a real bummer gift wise. I LOVE to give my families things, to see the joy on their faces when they receive a gift and knowing it's something they really enjoy. This year isn't going to be so bright in that department. Quitting hh gregg was the best thing I could have done for my mental health and relationship but it's taken a huge toll on my finances and this Christmas is going to reflect that. I know that Kara understands my monetary woes and isn't expecting a lot but it really makes me feel pretty crappy because she honestly deserves the world. That girl keeps me afloat when I feel like drowning and sometimes saves me when I am. Speaking of Kara, we have decided to move our wedding up to the end of February and going to Vegas! It's going to be a great time and going to take so much stress off of her since she was planning it all by herself.
I'm patiently waiting to hear back from the Dayton Police Department regarding my test results from the recent civil service exam. It should be about 2-4 weeks longer before I hear anything but the anticipation is building! I know that my chances of securing one of the 60 positions is about 1 in 3300 but I can still dream right? That really would be a dream come true but I know that i'm going to have to work much harder to obtain that goal and i'm perfectly content with that.
Christmas is right around the corner and i'm having mixed feelings about it. This year Kara and I have chosen a bit of a different path. Instead of splitting the day up between our two separate families, we are going to attend her parents on Christmas day and then the next day we're going to host my family at our house. I love spending time with the Altics and i'm glad that we don't have to run off after a few hours to cram time with my family. I'm beyond excited to spend the day with my brother Ryan and sister Erica and her boys and my parents. I wish for nothing more than Matt and Natalie and their boys to make it but I understand financial hurtles prevent that. I also wish my sister Veronica would get her head out of her ass and bring her family but that's hopeless.
Despite my excitement of spending the day with my families, my financial downfalls are gonna make this Christmas a real bummer gift wise. I LOVE to give my families things, to see the joy on their faces when they receive a gift and knowing it's something they really enjoy. This year isn't going to be so bright in that department. Quitting hh gregg was the best thing I could have done for my mental health and relationship but it's taken a huge toll on my finances and this Christmas is going to reflect that. I know that Kara understands my monetary woes and isn't expecting a lot but it really makes me feel pretty crappy because she honestly deserves the world. That girl keeps me afloat when I feel like drowning and sometimes saves me when I am. Speaking of Kara, we have decided to move our wedding up to the end of February and going to Vegas! It's going to be a great time and going to take so much stress off of her since she was planning it all by herself.
I'm patiently waiting to hear back from the Dayton Police Department regarding my test results from the recent civil service exam. It should be about 2-4 weeks longer before I hear anything but the anticipation is building! I know that my chances of securing one of the 60 positions is about 1 in 3300 but I can still dream right? That really would be a dream come true but I know that i'm going to have to work much harder to obtain that goal and i'm perfectly content with that.
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