Grind away

Christmas is over. I never really enjoyed Christmas. I hate god and jesus and all that bullshit. I never have the means to really show my friends and family how much I care. It's usually just an uncomfortable and stressful time.

This year was different though. I wasn't stressed. I wasn't uncomfortable. I felt right at home. I felt at peace. Kelsea and I got each other one gift. My family all agreed not to get each other anything but just share a nice, relaxed, dinner together. Kelsea's family was a lot of fun and I felt exceptionally comfortable there.

After 17 months of being unemployed I am returning to work on January 3rd. I'll definitely be out of place for a week or so but I am confident I will take it up quickly and be proficient at whatever task I am assigned. I feel that given enough time and proper instruction I can do anything and become good at it. Maybe not rockstar good, but above average good. I like to think, I like to construct, I like to make things. I like things to work. My buddy Douglas got me this job and I won't let him down. He has been an invaluable source of friendship and camaraderie.

I finally heard from the City of Dayton. I wasn't chosen for their February Police Academy. I'm 9 positions away for the next class though and I feel like that will actually do me some good. I can put in a good 9 months to a year at this new job and be ready to move on to my dream job, a police officer with the city of Dayton.

A new year is set to begin in 4 days. My goal -  zero credit card debt and a new vehicle. I'm going to work as hard as I can this entire year. Overtime, extra shifts, I don't care. I want succeed. I want to prosper. I want to earn a raise and put money in the bank. Pay off bills and buy nicer things.

I would have never dreamed that these words would have ebbed from my mind 5 years ago. Life was so care free then. I'm okay with it though. I kind of embrace it.


Oh yeah, I turn 22 in eleven days. wild

What a wild life

It's been 6 months, a very wild, very unpredictable 6 months. For starters, on June 20, 2011 I met the person i'm confident I will spend the rest of my life with. 12 days later I asked her to be my girlfriend, about a month after that she moved in with me. I've never met someone who I can be so comfortable with. Not even the woman I was once married to. I can say with confidence I have found the one.

We can do anything together: clean the house, make dinner, go grocery shopping, walk the dog, do the laundry, study for tests, visit family, anything; but that's insignificant, any couple can do that. What makes her so special is that she can do all of these things ON HER OWN! She doesn't have to be embedded in my butthole in order to function. And that my friends, is a trait that not every relationship has. Plus she's gorgeous, super smart, extremely funny, respects who I am and who I want to be, can make a mean serving of biscuits and gravy, and if I fart under the blanket and hold it over her head she doesn't run away screaming.....(she usually gets me back twice as bad!) Plus she let's me go hangout with my friends, play golf, stay up late, and spend money on stupid stuff.

The next big thing - I graduated the police academy. I, Bryan Camden, graduated the police academy. I did so in pretty decent fashion too, I didn't just scratch out a finish, I finished FOURTH in my class. I did everything I could to the best of my ability. I walked away with every certification available, and I scored an 84 percent on the state test.

I even got a medal!

I am chasing this dream full tilt. There is nothing I want more than to be a Police Officer. My entire life revolves around law enforcement. Going on ride alongs, researching departments, tactics, gear, history, methods. From the television shows I watch to the web pages I look at. I'm fighting for this, I want it.
I know i'm not an ideal candidate. I know I have a blemished history. I know I don't have a degree, or a military background. But I have a desire, a burning desire. A desire to prove myself, a desire to help others. Every department I apply to, I picture myself serving and protecting with them, for the citizens of the community they serve. I know if I can just get the chance, i'll succeed anywhere I go. I hope somewhere, someone realizes that. I have a passion for learning and that's something that can't be taught or acquired. It's something you're born with, AND I HAVE IT. I want to climb as high as I can.

The last 6 months have had a golden lining. Everything came together in wonderful fashion. Kelsea, the academy, my monetary situation, my dog losing weight, taking up a new hobby(golf). My car broke down, I was able to sell it, and then buy a better car for only a little bit more money.

The unfortunate side of life is that every golden lining has a rusty ugly underside. That rusty ugly underside is starting to show. I have applied to probably 10 different police departments. I have only heard back from 1, Dayton. I had an interview, a polygraph, and last I heard my background investigation was done. I haven't gotten a phone call, a letter, an email, nothing. I know when I apply to a department that my application isn't necessarily placed on the top of the list. I haven't finished my degree, I have no prior experience, and I have a juvenile record. I'm usually a very optimistic, happy, stress-free person but lately I have been getting a little down on myself. My unemployment is slated to run out in 2 weeks. I have a massive pile of bills each month and it's going to be tough to find a job in the mean time. I have so much weight on my shoulders; and all I want to do is succeed. I want to make something of myself. I want to make my brother proud. I want to provide for my girlfriend. I want to be able to go to sleep at night and not worry about money or bills or anything like that.

I know I can do it. I'm not going to stop trying until I succeed. I won't let myself down.